Seeing Stars

There are two kinds of car nappers – the kind that will sleep when the car is stopped and the kind that won’t sleep when the car is stopped. Currently parked in the driveway with #4 who is one of the first kind. He’s sleeping. I’m picking the pimples on my face.

It’s not my fault really. There are only a few things to do when your kid is sleeping in the car. Either you’re driving around in circles checking out the various neighborhoods near your house or near wherever the closest drive thru coffee place is or you’re on your phone or you’re looking at your face in the mirror. You’d clean th garbage but the crinkling receipts and empty water bottles would undoubtedly wake your child (who has the capability of sleeping through home construction) and anyway you don’t have a garbage bag. You’d read but your book is on your nightstand open to the same page it’s been on for three nights because bedtime is the only and worst time to get reading done.

For me being on the phone means taking pictures of myself. My husband made he mistake of telling me I looked like a movie star before I left the house so I decided to use portrait mode and see if I could capture the look:

Then I got bored and started including props:

Because sometimes I get it into my head that I can be one of those #liketoknowit girls or something. And I have fun pretending I’m someone who people who don’t me care about. And then I look at the pictures zoomed in and realize that portrait mode is unforgiving and my pores are very large.

Meanwhile the baby is still sleeping and I’ve had time to drive to try drive thru Starbucks, drink my entire almond milk latte, take dozens of narcissistic selfies AND write about it.

And so I’ll leave you to do whatever it is you’re doing on this Saturday afternoon and I’ll go back to taking pictures of myself making duck faces.

Dear Mama Mader

Dear Mama Mader:

My 10 month old is starting to refuse his 2nd nap. He goes down for his first nap about 2.5-3 hours after he wakes up in the morning but for his second nap he just refuses to sleep, sometimes staying awake in his crib for an hour or more. Isn’t he too young to only have one nap? 

-one nap wonder

Good question. What is it with babies and toddlers?  They need inordinate amounts of sleep and yet they fight it again and again.  What’s the deal with that?

After 4 babies you might think I’d have *the* perfect answer to this question.  Well I do have the answer but it’s that frustrating answer that isn’t really an answer it’s just the standard thing you say about anything related to babies – here it is – here’s the magic – there is no right or wrong answer because every baby is different.  Newborns generally sleep for 15 or 16 hours in any 24 hour period. Tell that to the parents with the colicky baby who just won’t stop crying. Mayo Clinic tells me that most 3-4 month olds are able to sleep for 5 hour stretches but out of my 4 children zero managed to check that box.

With naps it’s the same.  Some babies go from napping throughout the day to 3 naps to 2 and by one year or so start taking just 1 longer (2-3 hour) nap during the day (according to the pediatrician). Well my daughter didn’t nap well at all – maybe I’d get 30 minutes a couple of times a day. My first son was better but still – where were the 3 hour naps I was promised? He continued to take two 1-1.5 hour naps every day well past a year and my second son did the same.  Finally, like a very considerate third child, he took 2 naps a day – the first was shorter and one second lasted 3 hours at least. He continued with 2 naps until he was 18 months old. He just needed them. And with number 4 we’re back to two shorter naps like his sister.  Combining two short naps into one nap doesn’t always make for a longer nap – just the same short nap and a cranky baby.  We tried with #4 and it just didn’t work for him so two short naps it is. My point is every kid is different.  Sometimes it doesn’t matter that the doctor says switch to 1 nap at a year because the doctor isn’t home with you staring at the monitor as the baby sits in his crib for 2 hours instead of sleeping. If you want to transition him to one nap I would suggest doing the following:

1. Slowly push his nap back so that it’s around 11 or 12 (eventually you may want to push it even later (1 or 1:30) so that it won’t interfere with activities and nursery school).
2. Start the bedtime routine a bit earlier if you can.  If your baby currently has a 7:30 bedtime 6:30 may work better, at least until he gets used to the new schedule and then you can slowly push it later again.

Bedtime is hard as are most topics related to children because there are always multiple factors to consider.  An earlier bedtime might mean the baby won’t get to see one or both of his parents before bed. A later bedtime might make for a tired and cranky baby.  You have to do what’s best for the baby even if it isn’t always the option that seems desirable. If the little one is yawning and rubbing his eyes at 6, then he should go to bed at 6 even if Mommy or Daddy isn’t home yet.

As for naps, and to answer your question a bit more concisely (I realize it’s too late for that), he’s not too young to have only one nap.  He is his own little person and if you follow his cues he will fall into the schedule that is right for him.  If you try to push to one nap and it backfires you can always go back to the drawing board.

-Mama Mader

What do you think, dear readers? What tips do you have? Can a baby this young give up the second nap?

Looking for sage wisdom on all of your parenting, marriage, etiquette or life questions? Send ’em my way!

Coming up tomorrow – Manners by Mama – guide to visiting people with kids