On Rebellion

Steaming cup of hot water. Empty bowl of miso soup. How exciting is my life?

Yesterday I put on full body workout gear including sneakers (not fashion sneakers (so you know I really meant business)) but went to two supermarkets and Target instead.  I bought food at Trader Joe’s and more food at Whole Foods – normal – and the second I walked past the large red Target balls that switch was flicked in my brain.  Is it something in the air? I walked in for diaper pail bags and toothpaste and came out with a full cart including, and this is true,  16 sets of tiny ceramic creamer + sugar sets. Oh – it’ll be so cute for the kids to pour their own milk in the morning – give them a sense of accomplishment, etc. And then when they have friends over it’ll be cute to also give THEM a little jug from which to pour the milk for their cereal or the syrup for their waffle or whatever.  16 sets.

When I got home the baby was yelling in his crib.  He wasn’t crying or shrieking, simply yelling our nanny’s name over and over.  She told me he had just gone into his crib and was definitely tired after a long morning of playing with the sink, asking google to play youtube videos and climbing on any surface, preferably wobbly, with direct access to sharp objects or permanent markers. So I decided the gym was not in the cards, changed into my Mou boots, strapped the baby in the car and prepared myself for an hour and a half drive around scenic suburbia. I was halfway to the drive-thru Panera when I realized something – that morning I seriously and knowingly took a second cup of sample coffee from Trader Joe’s.  True. And as if that admission wasn’t lame enough – I felt a rush of exhilaration doing it.  I looked in the far and hidden corners of the ceiling and behind the various fruit stands for cameras or a team member who might have noticed but it seems I got away with it.

I am not a thrill-seeking person by nature.  I don’t like roller coasters (I was terrified on the Dumbo ride.  Last year.  When I was 32.) You would never see me near a bungee jump or sky dive. I don’t like airplanes or driving over bridges.  I won’t touch skis. I don’t do drugs (except for coffee.  So much coffee.) I have had a few moments of rebellion in my life but they were fleeting – spasms of defiance more than anything.  Studying abroad in Rome I ate ham.  I buy things at Bed and Bath without a coupon.  These are my kinds of rebellions.  And on an arctic Tuesday morning in January I felt I had really outdone myself when I poured that second demo cup.

On an unrelated note – have you ever found yourself reading a book out loud (in my case to my children) when suddenly you realize that you had read pages and pages without paying the slightest bit of attention?  Tonight I made it almost until the 4th minute of a 5 minute Minnie story when I realized that I had been having an entirely separate and distinct internal discussion. I have been trying to fine-tune an idea for a business that has been brewing in my brain for years. Today the lightbulb went off at exactly 9:47am.  I know this because at 9:48 I was calling my husband to tell him all about it. All day I have been completely distracted by this idea but at no point was I able to sit down and really give it my full attention.  Finally by 6pm, without having given my brain the opporutnity to process my thoughts, I found myself reading the words of a story to my children but not paying attention to a single one.  What part of my brain allowed me to do that? Was it my familiarity with the words of the story that allowed me to see and read a Minnie story while simultaneously asking and answering questions in my head about something so completley different?

And another thing.  Henry told me he’d like me to have a baby in my belly.  Why? I asked.  Because I like that.

And lastly, in more unrelated news, I started a new subscription box the first of which has not arrived yet but WAIT til you see what it is. Hint: it’s levio-sa.

Stay tuned!

L

…..And we’re back.

Have you ever closed your eyes and opened them only to find that 9 months has passed (past?)? The last time I wrote was April. April of 2018. It’s officially 2019 and I’m hanging my head in shame that I haven’t managed to write a single word.  What I have managed to do is cancel my subscription boxes of clothes. Because I’m not a person who needs subscription boxes to go shopping.  I like to personally go into a store and manhandle every coat, every shirt, every scarf, every shoe.  I like the process of going into Bloomingdale’s and trying on 25 pairs of jeans.  I love to try on coat after coat analyzing which hoods are furry enough but not too furry.  I adore the smell of the beauty counters and the perfume samples and the sight of children running that aren’t mine because I’ve left them in the capable hands of (school, the grandparents, the nanny). The mall is my default.  I walk the mall for fun.  I don’t also need boxes of clothes delivered every month.  Which is why I subscribed to Hygge box.  A box for people who enjoy that trendy and ever just out of reach Danish concept of coziness.  It didn’t send me clothes it sent me things! But it turns out I really like to buy things too.  I love to pick out great earthenware mugs and if I want a cuppa tea I’m happy with my decaf lady grey, thanks.  I don’t need someone to send me fuzzy socks in a box because truth be told they probably won’t fit my feet anyway (#bigfootproblems).  So I canceled my hygge box subscription too. And my birch box subscription because – well remember how I like beauty counters?  I already spend all of my husbands hard-earned money on furnishing my vanity with every la mer product known to man.  I don’t also need to spend even $10 a month on samples of beauty products I will literally never use.  I haven’t gotten up the nerve to cancel my fab fit fun subscription.  In fact I’ve upgraded it to the option where you get to customize your quarterly box of goodies.  Okay so from the latest box I have used exactly one item (the jade face roller thing that is either all the rage or only seems to be all the rage because google is creepy and sponsored ads are everywhere) for – you guessed it, every day for a week and then never again. Should I cancel fabfitfun? Probably.  Will I? Time will tell.  I sense a box reveal in the not-too-distant-future.

What else have I done since April you ask? Well I have binged every episode of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Lewis, The Tudors, The White Queen, Versailles, Elizabeth I: The Virgin Queen, The Durrells in Corfu, Mr. Selfridge, and many other shows I can’t remember.  Also Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Paw Patrol and Wild Kratts but only because at 5am when I stumble downstairs still sleeping and my kids ask if they can watch a show before I’ve had a chance to inject caffeine into my veins the answer is always “uh yeah whatever i’m just gonna be over here ignoring the fact that my bladder is seconds away from bursting because I’m afraid if I get up the baby will take it as a sign that I want to be up and moving about the house and he’ll ask me for breakfast and to play with the sink and…what’s that? You don’t actually care? The show is already on? So yeah. One show, eight shows.  Good times.

What else?  Well, I bought all the supplies for refurbishing old furniture and – didn’t. I suddenly became obsessed with luxury designer handbags, much to the distress of my ever-tolerant and obliging husband. I joined a gym and went every day for a week and then never again for the subsequent 3 (I joined in December trying to preempt the New Years challenge buzz.  I figured if I signed up early I might trick myself into actually sticking with it – whereas New Years’ resolutions to go the gym are begging to be broken.  I think it’s actually a law in some states.).  Also I challenged myself and all of my 2 friends on Goodreads who might notice to read 52 books in 2019 (will be re-reading all Bill Bryson, all Harry Potter, and throwing in some Crazy Rich Asians). And I became vegan.

Well when I say I became vegan what I mean to say is that 2 weeks ago I read the book How Not To Die by Dr. Michael Greger and became sufficiently convinced to stop eating animal products.  I will say no more since I hate preachy preachiness but it’s a thought-provoking book and worth a look.

Well I will say more but just a little. I really don’t care what anyone else eats (except the people I have control over like my children – Ha. Ha. Control is a funny thing and definitely not something I have when it comes to what my children put in their mouths.) And so I will not expect anyone else to cut out meat, eggs, milk, cheese, etc.  You may eat it all to your heart’s content and I’m not convinced given the right circumstances I wouldn’t too – not sure I can say no to Hibachi steak. And I sure do love the full English breakfast from Tea and Sympathy.

I may have a hard time saying no to an aged gouda.  But generally for the most part I feel like this is a change I could make in my life.  Look at this food:

…and tell me you wouldn’t eat it.  Okay but tell me it doesn’t look pretty.

Really it all started when a mom friend of mine invited me over to eat her leftover vegetarian chili and I didn’t vomit when I ate it. True. Just about any moment in time from birth until a month ago if you had asked me to eat vegetarian chili I would have said thanks but no thanks. The truth is I just felt that a meal without meat or cheese or both was just no meal at all.  But the chili wasn’t just not-vomitable it was really good and downright satisfying.  My world was rocked and it made the lessons from How Not To Die a bit more – palatable.  (Ha. Ha.)  I’m officially a semi-committed but very well-meaning vegan. And everyone reading – all 8 of you (hi mom and dad!) – have my permission to ask me if I’m still semi-committed in a few weeks.

Meanwhile I am not pregnant (a question you may have asked yourself if you know me even a little AND a question I have been asked several times in the past year – (oh, hi, gym membership.))

And with those updates and that somewhat abrupt ending – until next time –

Me.

A different day, A different subscription box

Today I asked myself several very important questions:

1. How can I motivate myself to clean the garage?
2. Will I ever be able to look at a cookie and not want to eat it?
3. How can I get in shape without going to the gym and while doing everyday mom things like pumping and cutting cucumbers into the shape of a dog?
4. Is 8 too many disinfectant sprays to buy at once?

The answers to those questions are not in this post.  This post is about Wantable – another subscription service.  I just can’t wait for Reviews on Tues.  It is my goal to one day have a new subscription box of some variety to open every day of the week.  (No I’m only kidding of course. Once a week would be fine.)

Wantable is, to quote them, “an online lifestyle service for busy people on the go. Providing distinctly unique products tailored to your individual tastes, needs, and wants.” There is a $20 styling fee that is applied to the price of an item if you choose to keep one AND if you keep 5 or more (of the 7 they send you) you get a 20% discount. Win! The process is similar to Stitch Fix and Trunk Club in that you fill out your style and size profile and click through a bunch of clothing options indicating items you would not like to see and ones you would like to see in your box. I wish they had an app for android but alas they do not.

I received my box:

And opened it:

I was fairly pleased with the look of this box.  Not the box but what was inside the box. Everything had promise.  Everything was the kind of thing I might pick up for myself if I were meandering through a store. The trouble of course is touching things and trying them on and seeing what I look like in the mirror. I once read (I can’t remember where) that you should never touch anything in a store because the moment you touch it you are some high percentage more likely to buy it.  Well we’ll see.

Eventually I was able ran up to my closet to try everything on:

Elbow V-Neck Dolman by W. by Wantable 

I love the dolman top – obviously. I just purchased a very, very similar one from my Stitch Fix box. Since I don’t need another black dolman top this one is getting returned.  Plus it was a bit sheer.

1. Printed Pleated Shell Top Black/White Floral by Supply + Demand 2. Heather High Rise Crop in Bilbao Wash by Articles of Society

The floral Supply + Demand shirt had me confused for a little while.  I like it. It’s a pretty shirt.  I thought it looked fine (you be the judge) but I just thought it didn’t go beyond “meh” for me. I feel like if I’m going to spend any amount of money whatsoever I have to be moved beyond “meh.” I knew that if I were going to dinner I wouldn’t put on this shirt so it has to be returned.

The Articles of Society jeans that I have on in the second two pictures are okay if a bit snug but I just don’t need them.  I need boyfriend jeans.  I could use boot-cut. But I do not need another pair of jeans this tight around my legs. Returned.

Long Sleeve Slub Scoop Back V-Neck in Avocado by W. by Wantable

The slub W. by Wantable shirt in avocado (I urge you, if you ever see an avocado this color do NOT eat it) – this was clearly not a winner.  I’m not the type to let my bra straps hang out and the neck line was just not working for me. Perhaps it was just huge? Because it did not look on me the way it did in the picture. Whatever the reason it was not a nice fit for me. This will be returned.

3/4 Sleeve Surplice Jumpsuit by Lauren Helena

The Jumpsuit – I actually really like this. I got into jumpsuits during my third pregnancy and am always looking for good ones that aren’t maternity (I still break those out sometimes…) and this one almost fit the bill. It just wasn’t perfect.  It was a bit plunging but a smaller size would have been too small and I wouldn’t wear a shirt underneath. Sadly, despite the fact that overall I like this a lot, it’s a return.

Ponte Fit & Flare Dress by Q&A

The dress.  It’s just a no. It’s just a flat out no. Perhaps I’m the wrong age to wear this style? Or maybe the wrong size or height? I don’t know the answer. I just know it’s a no for me. Even my pretty red shoes couldn’t jazz this up for me. Look, I couldn’t even show my face in this one. Return return return.

High Waist Josefina Boyfriend in AGM by 7 For All Mankind

Last but not least the boyfriend jeans. Finally. Something I like and want to keep! Let’s ignore the dirty mirror and the fact that I clearly took this picture on a different day from all the others. The jeans are what I’ve been looking for – a bit looser than all the ones I currently own and they get slouchier with a wearing or two (and then tighten back up with washing as all jeans do.) I really like them. Keep.

So that’s my Wantable experience.  You should try it – It’s worth a shot!

What’s In My Kitchen

Some days are rough. We woke up yesterday to a broken sump pump and a flooded basement. It was the second time in less than 10 months. Several days ago I aggravated a herniated disc that I originally got almost 3 years ago after the birth of my third child. I went to the doctor and it will be fine with physical therapy but it still feels like a constant throbbing in my back. Last night my daughter spiked a fever of 104 and the doctor confirmed today that she has the flu (type A). So I suppose when it rains it pours. Happily we have a wonderful nanny (superwoman. legit.) and my parents are close and we have friends who drive over with extra sump pumps and stand on wobbly ladders threading hoses through basement windows.  We are lucky in that way.

I decided to give you a glimpse into the reality of our situation.  When this is what used to be your basement:

This is what becomes of your kitchen (descriptions in captions):

A collection of unrelated items: cup of pencils (all sharpened), a book no one in this house is reading or has read, tzedakah box, lint roller, first aid items, headband, Pottery Barn Kids dollhouse furniture I got on clearance a couple of years ago and never opened, bath fizz, a non-working stoplight alarm clock, mixer from the 70s I couldn’t let my parents get rid of, a pull-up, cream, party hat, formula portioned out from our trip to Disney, some saltines and the only thing that truly belongs – the toaster.

And here on the center island you’ll find another collection of unrelated items: my bag (I LOVE it), a stack of magazines I still haven’t read and keeps getting bigger, crafts from school, “green” and hopefully effective disinfectant (ahem, flu), water bottle, pencil sharpener, daffodils from Trader Joe’s, nail polish (blue and red for my son, pink for my daughter), hamantaschen, vitamins, mail, measuring cups, a nightlight I took out of my son’s room a week ago that still needs a new lightbulb, a valentine, some thimbles from my youth.

Here is my baby-feeding corner so it makes sense it would have things like an iPad, random wires, Trendsend box (I. am. addicted. to. subscription. boxes.), some legos, produce, bagels, a clock we don’t use anymore, and finally the formula and my pump.

And the other baby feeding section of the kitchen: thirty thousand bottles and pump accessories, pacifiers we haven’t used in 6 months, some nebulizer accessories, and our cookbook stand.

This isn’t nearly as bad as it sometimes is. I won’t elaborate on this one – dirty dishes and garbage.

And here is our play area. The kids are now confined to this spot. They are either in school or on this mat. 

And our greenery (and pinkery)

 

I’m just kidding of course. It’s not the flood or the flu or the sore back that turned this kitchen into a complete disaster area. This is what my kitchen looks like 80% of the time unless I know you’re coming and then I’ve spent a good amount of time throwing everything into the guest room. As I sit here I realize I forgot to take a picture of the toy storage baskets, kitchen table (surprisingly clean!) and high chairs (not at all clean and I’m not even pretending they will be until tomorrow morning.)

Listen, I’ve got a crew in the basement cutting 2 feet of drywall around the perimeter and a messy house.  But I’ve got 4 cute kids sleeping upstairs.  They don’t care if the house is messy and they think the basement thing is an adventure.  I can’t complain so I won’t.