Today was so beautiful I actually felt giddy. I love warm, sunny days. I love walking around without a coat. I love taking the kids out for a walk instead of being cooped up inside – especially with a jackhammer in my ear. Today was one of those wonderful days when I felt elated for no real reason. In fact I felt elated despite some very good reasons to feel a little stressed (I won’t rehash the basement saga). Sometimes people ask me – how are you so calm? How do you have four kids and stay so calm? Part of the answer is that I have great kids who are really well behaved most of the time and especially in public. Part of the answer is that despite my problems and grievances on any given day I have about 100 more things I could list that make me incredibly lucky and I can usually find the ability to tell myself that the good things far outweigh the bad. Part of the answer is that a very long time ago I read the serenity prayer and it stuck with me: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference…” Part of the answer is you don’t see me in private when I’m decidedly not remotely calm.
Here’s a list of 20 of the first things that come to mind that make me happy – positively giddy. It’s the things on this list and others I didn’t think of in these first 20 that I come back to when things are really bad or totally frustrating or just mildly annoying. I think of one or more of these things and I can usually bring myself back to my very first world, very privileged reality.
In no particular order:
- Narwhals
- Harry Potter
- Every song from Hamilton and the fact that my kids request them
- The baby swaying to music
- My kids having a conversation
- The fact that my husband will watch the entire Sex and the City series (plus movies) with me
- Farmer’s markets
- Country music
- Bill Bryson
- New York City
- The beach
- My son saying at bedtime, “I know you said no chit-chat, but I want to chit-chat.”
- My other son touching a leaf and saying, “it’s just beautiful”
- My daughter telling me at bedtime, “you’re the best mommy in the whole entire world” which is exactly what I used to say at bedtime.
- Dinner with friends
- Cruises
- Saag Paneer
- Drinks with the ladies
- Auld Lang Syne (Barenaked Ladies version)
- Sandal weather
So that’s my list – a small part of my list – that keeps me happy and calm. What’s on your list? I encourage you to make one – do it now. Write it on your phone or on actual paper with an actual pen or pencil if you have it handy and keep it in your wallet – next to the credit card you use most often – just so that you can see it constantly. Make your list and tell me you don’t have a smile on your face. If you’re having trouble knowing where to begin try this:
List one happy thought about each child
List one happy thought about your significant other
List one happy thought about yourself
List your favorite movies or actors
List your favorite books
List your hobbies
List your favorite place to visit
List something random that makes you smile no matter what – for me it’s fart jokes. It’s ridiculous and I have no idea why they make me laugh so hard but they do.
Go ahead now. List and be happy.
Mama Mader at Home 